do any of you understand this?

[nicolette]

so im due to go through and see ayla and adem tomorrow,but the last few days ive been having doubts,i am just so heartbroken that i cant be a surro anymore and im worried that seeing ayla will just upset me even more,its not that i dont want to see her,ofcourse i do,but im trying so hard to work through my feelings right now and there have been days when i have really struggled,especially lately with d losing his job,i cant afford to lose it since im the one holding this family afloat right now.i just dont want another set back ya know..........

[tottypops]

you need to go with your heart hun.if it doesnt feel right -then maybe it isnt right for you just now.
of course you want to see them both but inside you are still hurting and healing from the trauma of giving birth and losing your ability to carry again.its understandable your emotions are up in the air at this time,its only natural hun.

[Brandy261]

(((Hugs))) Good luck Nic. I think Ali said what I was thinking. I wish I could say or do more.

[Star J]

Hugs Nic

You are so awesome. I think you should go with your heart. I think also that if you see them you may realize that you did something so giving and so unselfish. Hold you head high and be proud for you have gave so much of yourself to someone else. Great will your riches in heaven be.

Hugs and prayers

starj:You_Rock_Emoticon:

[skyofstars236]

Nic,

Having not been a surro I can only speak from my experience. When I lost my battle and had the hysterectomy I was pretty wrecked. For several months I didn't want to talk about babies, look at babies or much less hold babies. The wounds of losing my fertility were far to fresh. The only thing that helped for me was prayer and time.

You gave birth to two beautiful children through your love and kind heart. But right now your heart is hurting. I think that the for you it's too soon. The wounds left behind are still too real. I am afraid that if you go and you aren't ready it's just going to open back up again. Take some quiet time today and listen to your heart. If you aren't ready then don't go. No one will think any less of you. You are an angel on earth.

[intenshn]

If it were me, I'd go. But I don't get to see my previous surro babies, so it's an easy decision for me. You never know about people's situations though - I am always thinking that life is too short, and I don't want to miss oportunities that may never present themselves again. Life is uncertain.

[nicolette]

Nic,

Having not been a surro I can only speak from my experience. When I lost my battle and had the hysterectomy I was pretty wrecked. For several months I didn't want to talk about babies, look at babies or much less hold babies. The wounds of losing my fertility were far to fresh. The only thing that helped for me was prayer and time.

You gave birth to two beautiful children through your love and kind heart. But right now your heart is hurting. I think that the for you it's too soon. The wounds left behind are still too real. I am afraid that if you go and you aren't ready it's just going to open back up again. Take some quiet time today and listen to your heart. If you aren't ready then don't go. No one will think any less of you. You are an angel on earth.

what beautiful words hun!thankyou!