How Do I Find a Gestational Surrogate in PA?

[ElaineR]

Hi Everyone,

I'm having difficulty finding a gestational surrogate from Pennsylvania. I have ads on 5 web-sites. (Everything Surrogacy, OPTS, Fertile Hope, SMO, and The American Surrogacy Center) Are there any other sites out there I missed? I've had 4 possibles. One did not tell her mother and then backed out because her mother did not approve. I lost one surrogate because I spent too much time with the one that backed out and she chose another IP. The third surrogate was bipolar with a criminal record. The 4th wanted $30,000. base plus the added expenses like medical coverage etc. and we just could not swing it. We will also have to pay for the IVF expenses, $26,000. since my insurance does not cover surrogacy. I'm only doing this for 3 weeks and I'm getting discouraged already. I'm thinking of using an agency to help us:eek: find a GS. Their fee is $1,500.00 to find us a GS, but I'm not sure if the one I want to use is reputable. I'm afraid I'll get ripped off. The lawyers that would find a GS are advertising on the same sites I am on. I don't see the point in paying an attorney a high fee ($10,000.) for something I can do myself. I'd rather put the funds toward my surrogate.

HELP! Any advice?

[j79a79]

..................

[Star J]

Please pm me I can give you some sound advice I have used agencies and had independent surros. I think we should talk

star J

I will give you my phone number and personal email addy:)

[WestCoast-TS]

Is there a reason the surro HAS to be in PA? I think if you expand to the nearby states you might have more success.

[mommyof3coolboys]

Is there a reason the surro HAS to be in PA? I think if you expand to the nearby states you might have more success.

Ditto...you may find more surro's in areas not to far away:o
Goodluck...you will find that GS just right for you:D

[terrortoys]

Elaine don't give up she is out there.. why are you only giving yourself 3 weeks??

[txgs2005]

GOOD LUCK to you in your search!!

[don't need 6 only 2 ~TJ]

Why are you limiting yourself to such a short time? These things take patience then a ton more patience. Trust me I know. The right match is far better than the quick match. Especially if you really want someone close.

[mommyof3coolboys]

How are you doing Elaine on the GS search?????????

[ElaineR]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your advice. Yes, I must be patient. I wanted a GS in PA, so we will be within driving distance and able to stay involved throughout the pregnancy.

Hugs,
ElaineR :o

[terrortoys]

Are you on the border of another state of how about a 8=10 hour distance that would give you a broader looking range.

[mommyof3coolboys]

This might solve your problem if you continue not to have any luck in your area. Would this be something you would consider:confused:

[ElaineR]

Hi All,

I think I might have found our GS in PA. She seems nice we have e-mailed back and forth. She meets what we were looking for in a GS. Our next step is to meet. She had a death in the family, so we might not meet for another week or two. What happens next? The contract phase?

We also sent the paperwork in for the Cooper Center to find us an egg donor. We have our first consult with the RE on December 26, 2006. I was hoping we would have our contracts signed and our medical tests done before then. I guess we will just have to play things by ear. I'll keep everyone posted.

ElaineR :p

[WestCoast-TS]

You can still do testing and contracts before then. Your surro would just go to her own doctor for the STD testing on her and her spouse. If the RE requires an HSG that will have to wait but thats not a huge deal. After you meet and discuss the contractual issues then you can do those.

[j79a79]

Hi All,

I think I might have found our GS in PA. She seems nice we have e-mailed back and forth. She meets what we were looking for in a GS. Our next step is to meet. She had a death in the family, so we might not meet for another week or two. What happens next? The contract phase?

We also sent the paperwork in for the Cooper Center to find us an egg donor. We have our first consult with the RE on December 26, 2006. I was hoping we would have our contracts signed and our medical tests done before then. I guess we will just have to play things by ear. I'll keep everyone posted.

ElaineR :p

This is great news! I would definitely meet first, then contracts and testing. Good Luck.

[JennyLou]

Hi there! I too am from PA - nice to meet you. I'm guessing you are on the eastern side of the state since you are working with Cooper.

I'd like to strongly suggest a few things (my arrangement was indy and I LOVE my IPs)

1. Do a background check on the surrogate
2. You don't have to have an agency for things to work well -- my IPs didn't want to use an agency because they wanted me to have the $ that would have been spent to match us -- but you do have to be VERY careful. There are scams everywhere. Don't be quick to jump just because you want this so bad -- take your time to really get to know this person.
3. Listen to your head not your heart. If something doesn't seem right, then it probablly isn't and could pose problems down the road.
4. Since you are looking for an ED too, you should have plenty of time to talk with your SM and get to know her. Be sure to talk about your expectations upfront. How much contact you want, what you expect of her, all the what if's, how much $ and expenses are expected -- you should find a sample contract and try and nail out all the details prior to going to a lawyer. You'll save in the long run.
5. I believe Cooper takes care of the testing when you sign with them and you'll want to do this before contacting the lawyer about the contract but again, I'd go over all the expectations before you do this too.
6. Stay around these boards and ask ask ask away. There are several experienced ladies her who I'm sure will be more than happy to help you out.

Best wishes for a successful journey!!!! :)

[ElaineR]

Hi Jenny Lou,

I have other questions. Who do I contact to do a background check? We joined Net Detectives and tried to to a background check on our GS. We only had her name and the city in PA. It came up with nothing. I'm finding out that you have to be very careful. I've e-mailed back and forth with a few GS but we haven't gotten to meet any of them. Things seem to go wrong before we even get to that state. The present GS said she couldn't meet because her finance's father died. I called information for her telephone number but there was no listing. Maybe she only has a cell phone and the background check came back with nothing. I'm not sure the web-site we used to do the background check is a good one. Also, what do you think about the psychological testing? How valid or important do you think this is? Know anyone who does the psych evaluations in PA?

Thank goodness for this site. I don't know where I would have gotten my questions answered accurately.

Hugs,
Elaine

[momsurrogate]

Elaine: I'm not sure if you have found a match yet or not, but I am trying to find a family to match with as well. I am a first time GS and live in PA. Unlike the others (from what I have read) my family truly is supportive of this decision. Well, my dad is not, but he doesn't really understand it either- and I won't let his uneducated opionion keep me from doing what I want to do. My husband, friends, and other family are 100% supportive especially after they speak with me about the whole thing and my desire to help someone else to have a child. Anyway- if you are still looking for a GS, contact me!

[Star J]

Elaine

I have net detective and have not found it to be very useful. I suggest that you simply ask her to sign a form that allows you to get background info. I know that his sounds bold , I hope it is not offensive. I failed to do the background check on a past surro . Well actually my first surro and it could have saved me alot of heartache. You are thinking in a good direction.

Good Luck to you and God Bless

star j

[ElaineR]

Hi Everyone, 12/28/06

We met with Dr. Check on 12/26/06 at Cooper. What a knowledgeable doctor and the staff was very helpful. The doctor waited for us as we got stuck in holiday traffic. He spent 2 hours with us answering questions. My husband and I had all our testing done the same day and our physical. Tomorrow our GS and her fiance have their testing done. (They are getting married on Saturday.) We also did a background check on our GS no criminal background just a minor issue with rent. We selected our ED. She is so pretty, fair, blue eyes, light brown hair, a nice smile, English, intelligent, and in good health and a healthy blood line. Our GS had the first day of her cycle yesterday, so next is the sono. I can't wait until the transfer day! If we keep moving along perhaps we can be parents by November, 2007.

We are sharing eggs with another couple. Does anyone know how this works? We want to transfer fresh eggs. Do you think sharing the eggs will detain us?

We are just so excited!

Hugs,
ElaineR